EVERYONE can be kind. That's the absolute, without a doubt, hands down, number one, most powerful power of kindness. Everyone can be kind, any time, anywhere, with anything you have or can do.
What is kindness then? Is regular friendliness kindness? Kinda. It's kind, but it's not connecting you with the other person. Friendliness can actually create more distance than connection, because it is easily mistaken for regular or professional behavior. Something that we've been taught to prevent problems and not show what we're truly feeling.
Kindness is different. Kindness is wanting to influence someone/something for the better. Usually by going a little bit out of your way to do good. For example saying thank you and looking the person in the eyes, to show that you really see the other person and appreciate them.
Kindness is a way to make and shape the community you want to live in. We can vote for politics and wait for the government to make the society we want, OR we can be and do what we want to see happen in our community and invite others to do the same.
Here are some other ways to deepen your understanding of kindness.
Let us know how kindness has helped you in your life!
Give someone a compliment, but hold on! Do you actually know how to give a good compliment? This is Spread the Love, you're not getting away with an easy compliment, you gotta do the work.
How to give a good compliment? First you need to know what it is that the person values most. It may seem that they always look nice. Their clothes are ironed, their hair looks good and they always smell good. So yeah, easy score! 'YOU SMELL NICE!' Right??
No, that is first level kindness. What we're expecting from you is next level kindness. Take a moment and ask yourself what they want to portray by being so well put together? Maybe it is that they have everything under control. So compliment them on that, because they're doing a good job on it! If it's actually true that they do have everything under control is not up to you or I to determine.
'YOU ALWAYS SEEM SO COMPETENT' and mean it. Without sarcasm, without judgement. With the sole intention of making someone feel nice about something they're being or doing. Why? Because the aim is to truly connect. To truly see the effort the other person is putting in and showing appreciation.
And guess what, it will make the other person want to be more of what you admire in them, because someone has noticed them for it!
PAY IT FORWARD
Have you seen the movie?! Me too. Awesome, isn't it?
Even if you haven't seen the movie, you're probably familiar with the concept of paying for an extra coffee for someone who will visit the establishment after you. This is the simplest form of paying something forward. And it's GREAT.
Now, for the next level. You can pay forward anything! Not just a coffee. You can pay forward a smile, a thank you, a piece of trash thrown in the bin, a hug, knowledge, a home-cooked dinner, some insight, a gift, a ride, your special skill. Any thing.
There's no limit to what you can pay forward. The beauty of paying something forward is that what you're giving, is given without knowing how the recipient will be paying your kindness forward to the next person. And them to the next one. And that's the actual objective! You don't need to know. The intention is to do good and trust that it will spread like wildfire. Or like.... love 😉
This is so powerful because - the secret is - that when you do an act of kindness your brain secretes the hormones that make you feel good + the recipient's brain does the same AND the person seeing it all happen has the same benefit!! I mean, win-win-win. Could this BE any better? Yes go ahead, read it again and do the Chandler gesture.
I didn't make this up. The third 'win', that the person seeing it happen feels good too, has actually been proven. In fact, just thinking about doing an act of kindness already lights up the feel good area in your brain. So go ahead and read these Howto's over and over again!